Welcome Wednesday: Refining Relationships with Tammy Melton

Author:Tammy Melton, LPC

Books:Loving God with all five senses, Refining Relationships with God, self, and others

Genre: Christian Living

About Her Latest Book: In Refining Relationships, professional counselor Tammy Melton, LPC, reveals powerful solutions to the three most important relationships in your life: God, self, and others.

Q and A With Tammy Melton

By Jenny Fulton

Relationships are an incredibly vital part of our life and can be so frustratingly complicated. Given the fact that I’ve had my share of relational conflict, I was especially eager to hear Tammy’s take on the matter. 

Question: What inspired you to write your latest book, Refining Relationships?

Answer: Before I had any thoughts of writing a book on relationships, God placed within me a desire and anointing to be a mediator for families in conflict. The principles in this book have been developing in the laboratory of my counseling office and in my own life for years. Then one day I was invited to teach a workshop on relationships for Harvest Network, International at their annual assembly in June of 2018. As I prepared to teach my workshop, I realized I had so much information that I needed to write a book. Refining Relationships was published in June of 2019.

Question: How do our perspectives influence our relationships?

Answer: Our perspectives are shaped by many factors. No one in the world shares the same perspective completely, including siblings; yet it is our human nature to judge others who do not share our perspective. As I mentioned in the book at the beginning of Chapter One:

Our perspectives shape the way we perceive situations. For example, someone in the southern United States is taught to treat older people with respect. Southerners say “Yes, Ma’am” and “No, sir” as a sign of honor. However, someone raised in the northern United States may be offended if someone calls them “ma’am” or “sir” because he does not want to be thought of as old. Unfortunately, one person’s actions meant to promote respect can be misunderstood as offensive. 

This act of judging others builds walls of division between us. However, if we pause and think about how God brings people of different life experiences and perspectives together to help each other, we will then celebrate our differences and build bridges of enrichment instead of walls of division.

Question: What is spiritual warfare and what does it have to do with relationships?

Answer: Everyone experiences trials in life. Sometimes our struggles on earth are because of natural laws that govern the world. For instance, a driver who loses control of his vehicle on a patch of ice may end up hitting a tree on the side of the road and causing major damage to his vehicle and his body. Other difficulties come as a result of activity in the heavenlies beyond what we see with our natural eyes or what we hear with our natural ears. 

The Bible teaches us about Heaven, Hell, God, Satan, angels, demons (fallen angels), good, and evil.Certain passages in the Bible explain these things and give us guidelines in order to overcome adversity. Ephesians 6:10-13 (NKJV) says, 

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

So many of our trials include issues with relationships. Even trials that do not directly involve other people still indelibly affect loved ones who care about how our well-being. The enemy knows that issues with difficult relationships can negatively affect us quicker than anything.

While we cannot control what the other person in a dysfunctional relationship says or does, we can seek God to show us what to say and do that will bring life to the relationship instead of yielding to the enemy’s agenda to bring more division.

A Path Forward

God created us to live in community with Him and each other. The greatest commandments are precisely about those relationships: love God and love others. It makes sense, then, that Satan would work so hard to create conflicts and destroy our connections with one another. It makes sense that our greatest desires are impacted in the greatest way by our sins and other imperfections. Relationships aren’t easy, but good relationships are priceless and definitely worth fighting for.

Book Bio

Relationships—they’re one thing we all have in common. Whether your relationships are healthy or dysfunctional, they all can be refined. Relationships take work, and without deep dedication, your goals and hope of healthy relationships become only good intentions.

In Refining Relationships, professional counselor Tammy Melton, LPC, reveals powerful solutions to the three most important relationships in your life: God, self, and others. Her insightful and descriptive book will show you how to:

  • Identify and release your hidden expectations
  • Engage healthily in conflict
  • Recognize and manage your anger, and more!

Though many people react to their relationships, Tammy Melton will teach you how to refine them intentionally by looking to Jesus as the purest example of health and functionality.

It’s not a dream. You can have relationships that are healthy, vibrant, and strong starting today!

Purchase Tammy’s Books

Connect with Tammy


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