By John Fulton
My God, I came to You in a wretched state.
I came to a place of quiet solitude to discuss with You a list of questions.
I came to You with my own plan and my own agenda.
I came to You with a heart full of sorrow and a body consumed by stress.
I desired to say to You, “End my pain, take away my stress, answer my questions, deliver me to a better place.”
You said to me, “Read my son David’s Psalms.”
So I read, but I knew not why. This was not the plan.
I opened myself up to You, I quieted my mind, I did not close myself off to You, and You spoke.
You said to me, “Do you see how my son poured himself out to me as he wrote his Psalms? Do you see how he hid not from me? Do you see how I replied to him, how we conversed as he laid out his troubles, his fears, his doubts, his joys, his triumphs, his beliefs? Pour out to me, as did he, and see if I will not answer you the same.”
So pour out I did, and answer me, You did.
I poured out my sorrows and tribulations.
You showed me how You are with me, You showed me how You have defeated my enemies, You showed me how high an opinion of me You have, You declared to me my future and revealed the path we will walk together.
You declared me righteous and good, worthy and beloved, a true son and heir.
You showed me Satan’s plan for my destruction, You showed me how You can defeat one so powerful by merely deciding he is defeated.
You showed me all of this and I found myself filled with a joy inexpressible. My feet floated on the ground. I danced like a fairy over the water. I sang uncontrollable of Your greatness and laughed with delight.
Through an apparent coincidence and a total stranger, You confirmed Your plan for my future. Through Your son David’s Psalms, You showed me there is nothing new under the sun. All is known to You; You will guide and protect me all of my days, but this does not mean I will not know sorrow.
In a whisper You revealed to me a great burden I knew not I had. As I sobbed and I grieved, I realized You were with me. Your hands held me; Your spirit comforted me.
But then I realized You did more than this. You grieved with Me. You cried out in pain, for my pain was Your pain; my grief was Your grief.
Through my vocal cords, You spoke Your lament; from my eyes You shed Your tears; from my pen You expressed and let loose Your pain.
We were as two brothers, joined in mutual sorrow at the funeral of a beloved mother. So we sobbed, so we conversed, so we processed together until my head throbbed from the weeping, and grief let loose until my stomach threatened no longer to retain its contents.
O’ what a marvelous God You are.
You guide us when we let You, for You are a true gentleman and do not force Yourself on us.
You cry with us. You weep with us. You mourn and wail with us.
You protect us from harm.
You destroy the plans of our enemies.
You counsel us.
You truly are Emmanuel, God with us.
Father of those who trust in Him, Brother to those who obey Your precepts, Comforter and Mighty Counselor of those who seek Your Face.
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